Bragging on Social Media: Four Ways to Avoid Oversharing
Can bragging on Facebook and other social platforms backfire? In an extreme example this week, a gang of thugs in Brooklyn used their Facebook pages to boast about committing murder and got arrested as a result. Verdict? Not smart! While most of us are bragging about much less criminal things (we hope!), touting your accomplishments through social media may still have a negative result.
The Wall Street Journal ran a story last month ago called “Are We All Braggarts Now?”, which examines whether social media has given people a platform — and permission — to constantly boast about their accomplishments, children, jobs and lives in general. In the piece, Elizabeth Bernstein writes that “we’ve become so accustomed to boasting that we don’t even realize what we’re doing. And it’s harmful to our relationships because it turns people off.” I believe this is a generalization and that, while select folks spend all their Tweets and Facebook posts talking about how their child is the world’s most talented and beautiful, there are ways to leverage social media to promote yourself and what you’re proud of in a smart and more subtle way.
In Be Your Own Best Publicist: How to Use PR Techniques to Get Noticed, Hired and Rewarded at Work, the book I co-authored with fellow Forbes blogger Meryl Weinsaft Cooper, we dedicate an entire chapter, called “Toot Your Own Horn (but Not Too Loudly),” to teaching people how to be their own publicists without irritating those on the receiving end. There’s an art to self-promotion and part of it is building your reputation slowly and strategically so you don’t come across as too in-your-face. (Though I don’t see what’s so bad about posting “Got my first royalty check for my book,” as referenced in the article. As an author myself, I know what a huge deal it is to finally see some rewards from all the hard work you put in!). Nonetheless, here are a few tips on how to avoid being pegged as a braggart:
Pat yourself on the back but pat others harder it’s okay to post something about an award you won, but make sure you’re also congratulating others when they’ve received accolades. Hit the “like” button on Facebook or re-tweet it when you see that people you know have posted about their personal milestones and they’ll likely do the same for you. A third-party endorsement often has more impact than if you tout your own accomplishments.
2. Offer a take-away. If you wrote a great blog post about how to avoid being a braggart, for example, linking to it might actually offer useful advice to the folks who click on it. Or if you say, “Our nanny is a rock star,” maybe you can tell people where you found her so they can find their own personal Mary Poppins or link to the great sample sale where you scored amazing Hermes piece, so others can benefit too.
3. Don’t make others feel bad. I haven’t had a real vacation in a while (that’s a whole other blog post!), so it’s natural to feel a wee bit jealous when I see friends post amazing beach shots of their tropical trips (though I’m mostly happy for them…really). That happiness would be dampened, though, if they posted or tweeted things like, “Ha, ha! I bet you wish you were here!” or “I feel like I died and went to paradise.” instead of “Great view from my hotel room in Costa Rica.” The upshot: Be cognizant that not everyone is as lucky as you are, watch your tone and try not to over-post. (You are on vacation, after all!)
4. Be aware — don’t overshare! You can always dial down who sees what posts on social media, if you fear that you are posting too many updates to your extended crowd. And, on the flip side, if you feel that some of your Facebook friends or those you follow on Twitter are getting out of hand with their self-promotion, simply filter out their posts or stop following them. That way, when you see them face-to-face next time, stories about their child landing first seat in the school orchestra or their latest major deal at work won’t irk you quite as much.
Jessica Kleiman is co-author of Be Your Own Best Publicist: How to Use PR Techniques to Get Noticed, Hired and Rewarded at Work and ran PR at Hearst Magazines for the past decade. You can follow her on her website, beyourownbestpublicist.com, Facebook or Twitter (@bestpublicist